You Got Me So Hypnotized
I got hypnotized on Thursday night. I was not under the influence of alcohol. I was not taking any narcotics nor was I in a strip-club listening to Akon’s hit song. I was hypnotized, legitimately hypnotized—by a real hypnotist. And if you don’t believe anything else I ever say, believe me when I say hypnotism is real. It’s authentic. It’s genuine. It’s bona fide one-hundred percent.
Let me start out by saying that if you ever have an opportunity to get hypnotized, by all means, you need to try it. I used to be very cynical about hypnotism. I thought that no one could “control” my mind. After this past Thursday, I want to get hypnotized every chance that I can. I should also say that if you are easily embarrassed, maybe hypnotism isn’t the thing for you, but hypnotism can be likened to being drunk—it is the perfect alibi, except that being hypnotized is a much more justifiable reason to explain things, and not only that, chances are that you will not vomit, get naked, or harm yourself or anyone else when hypnotized.
I can vaguely remember what I did when I was hypnotized, but my friends captured enough videos to help me put the pieces together. I was a contestant in an international butt shaking contest. I performed a very entertaining “dance” to the tune of Michael Jackson’s “Beat It.” Let’s just say, the name of the song says it all. I competed in an all-female-turned-male body building contest. Out of all the mythical creatures I could be, I turned into a hypogriff, and I don’t even know what the heck a hypogriff is! To make things even more interesting, I had to illustrate the “mating dance” of a hypogriff. Needless to say, I was entirely unaware that all this was going on at the time. My whole body was numb. I was oblivious to the rest of the world, except for the voice and visual commands of the hypnotist. Do not ask me how it works; hypnotism is way above my head. What I can tell you is that being hypnotized was euphoric. It was unlike anything I have ever experienced.
Another exhilarating aspect of my hypnotic experience was how I felt afterwards. According to the hypnotist, one hour of hypnosis is equivalent to eight hours of sleep. When I awoke and became cognizant again, I felt extremely energized. I was ready to run a marathon. In fact, I ended up pulling an all-nighter. I definitely think getting hypnotized would be a wonderful tactic to use before studying for a test.
