Sometimes I wish I never grew up. I wish my only care in the world was either what’s for dinner mom or what is the Saturday morning cartoon schedule. I miss how innocent I used to be and how innocent I thought the world was. I miss what it’s like being a kid.
My inspiration for this blog was watching my 8-year-old brother play in a baseball tournament this past weekend. He has came to every baseball game I have ever played in, but I have rarely had the opportunity to see him play. He has begged me to come to just one of his games for the past two months, and I finally had the chance to do so on Saturday. In his very first at-bat he glanced over in the stands to see if I had came and his reaction was priceless when he saw me. The very next pitch, he blasted a home-run over the left field fence. It was his first home-run ever. When he crossed home-plate, he had the most genuine smile I have ever seen on his face, possibly one of the most genuine smiles I have ever seen on anyone’s face. I thought to myself, I haven’t smiled like that in a long time.
Days when I used to have super-hero stories read to me have become nights where I read Freud before I go to sleep. Mornings when I would have a boy of cereal made for me have become mornings that I have to force myself to get up and go to class. I used to run around outside for hours, chasing dogs, birds, or even girls around the playground. Now, I may exercise three times a week at most and the girls, well, they’re much harder to catch.
While I was a smart little lad growing up, naturally I was much more ignorant about the world than I am now. And if ignorance is bliss, then perhaps that’s why being a kid was so fun. At the time, I thought I had everything in the world, but now I have realized how far I truly am from even coming close to what I want. I know what I want, but I’m not sure how to get there sometimes. I need end results, and while the ends may justify the means, nothing ever seems to go as planned anymore. When I was a kid, I never had to worry about where I’ll be in ten years, how will my choices affect my future, and what do I need to do in order to be successful. Eating chicken Mcnuggets, watching Toy Story and irritating my brothers was all part of a day’s work. Looking back, I never realized how good I really had it.
The point of this blog is not to reminisce about the good ol’ days nor is it to complain about all the responsibility that comes with growing up. In fact, I could write an entire blog about how much I enjoy being “grown up.” They say that the true mark of an intellectual is to be able to look at both sides of anything. When I looked at my brother’s face Saturday, I saw the beauty in being a kid. He thought hitting a home-run in front of a brother that he adores was the most glorious moment ever. I won a state championship, something I dreamt of throughout my childhood, and that moment will never leave me, but at the same time, I know it has little or no effect on my current life. Sometimes I just wish I could think similarly to my brother.
